So I guess now that we have made it Facebook official…I can make it blog official! It is so bizarre to say but I am no longer a “single” foster mom. Still a foster mom…but once Facebook says that you are IAR (in a relationship) it is official…no longer single. All joking aside I have never been happier to be acting like a teenager! I actually have never changed my Facebook status before. Such a small change on the profile but such a significant connection for both of us. We should take this time to acknowledge that we will be remembered as the FB generation.
I have not really talked about Shawn much on this blog yet because I was probably a bit to transparent last time but in all honesty I would not take a minute of it back…because it has gotten me here. And ironically one of the first conversations Shawn and I had about dating, he blind sided me saying, I have read your blog. I know what you are looking for. I know what you have been up to, and I want to take you out and get to know you. I was so refreshed with his honesty and transparency that I knew I had to give this a chance. This didn’t start that day, the connection had already been made. We have known each other for years. Even met each others parents along the way. I guess where it really started was when had a small flirtation in Miami in November of 2013…one where he has since asked me if he had tried to kiss me would I have let him? Who knows??? 🙂
#tbt #wetooksnowflake #thanksroaringriot
And to be honest I am so glad that God was planning this for us and didn’t let it happen then. I had just taken in Sam and still had Damon at this point. Life was moving really fast. He was just getting a new job and had full summer of studying to pass the Series 7, Series 6, Series 5, Series 495…you get my drift 🙂 It is brutal to admit this but I am sure I am not alone…my faith in God and his timing has not always been the strongest when it comes to my relationships. When someone wiser than me told me rejection is God’s protection it took me so long to realize what that meant. I am still not sure I can fully understand why God would put us through so much bad when it is suppose to be so good? It is a hard thing to grasp…
As things progress with Shawn and I start to see how a happy relationship works I am starting to understand this more clearly. All the challenges seem to be propelling me in the right direction. It also seems to be pushing all my previous fears aside. I am able to be honest about what I am feeling, and verbalize those feelings. And ultimately isn’t that what we all want?! Acceptance no matter what feeling may come up?! By no means have I perfected this and I am trying not to get ahead of myself but finally I feel good!
One of the biggest tips in Have the Relationship You Want, or as I love to say, Rori would say, use your feeling statements. If you tell someone how you feel, they can not disagree with you, because only you own and know your feelings. This sounds so simple right?! You are mad…”I feel mad…” You are sad…”I feel sad…” You are giddy…”I feel giddy…” But what about the times you do not know how you feel? That is when communication gets tripped up…for me and most people I encounter. I am on a journey of learning how to feel again. I have been so numb and robotic that it is taking me awhile to figure it all out. I am just glad I am doing it now before it is too late…