When I first met Zack, he immediately reminded me of Sam.  Not in the traditional sense of reminding me of each other, what they look like, talk like etc.  But more in the “Man! I wish Sam was around to hang out with Zack and hear his story.”  He reminded me that I have been through this crazy experience that is all based on addiction.  And his mission is to change the perception about addiction and help people that are in the battle.  So many people are silently fighting and there is no reason for the silence.

When I thought about this challenge I immediate zoned in on something I have wanted to change for awhile.  Partly because of my experience with Sam. And that is…how I talk to myself.  If I am completely honest with myself I am not sure I have ever been nice to myself.  There is always something to improve, something to work on, something to do better. My head is a jumbled up mess sometimes.  It moves so fast it can be scary.

I have never just said “Self…you are an awesome person.  You are beautiful.  You are kind.  You are smart.  You are successful. ”

Instead it comes out something like…
“Self… you are an awesome person, sometimes…when you are being fun, or make a funny joke (which has officially still never happened), or making someone happy.
You are beautiful…when you actually try, when you shower and get it together for the day, when you work out like you are suppose to.
You are kind…when you are not having road rage, when you are not impatient with a client, when you are not putting your self first.
You are smart…when you are not misspelling something, when you are not going so fast that you miss details, when you push yourself to be the best.
You are successful…if you could ever finish a project on time, when you keep a client from completely losing it on a project…when you can afford to live the life you want to lead.

And this is probably the PG version of what really happens in my head.  So for my #thanksgiveup I am giving up the negative self talk.  I am not walking a way from being reflective, and open to change, but I want to approach it in such a way that I can succeed.  I want to learn how to stop the “beating” myself up talk and start the YOU GOT THIS talk.  I want to purge the negative thoughts.

I have never tried this before because I am trained to go towards the negative in my brain.  And I am sure I am not alone.  I would love to have any one of you that is not being kind to yourself to let me know.  Let’s hold each other accountable!  Let’s speak nicely to each other so we can be reminded to speak nicely to ourselves!